A Travellerspoint blog

I Am a Mistake

“There is nothing wrong in making mistakes. What’s wrong is letting it stay as a mistake without the effort of making it right.” 1126P, 17April2009

We talk over the phone and exchange messages on rare occasions.
You said you are immature and stupid.
You said you don’t like giving flowers and chocolates.
You said you won’t like it when someone would ask you to fetch him/her.
You made me aware you are in a relationship. You mentioned you are wearing some sort of an engagement ring. You asked me what if you are getting married soon.
Once I asked you why you called. You said you don’t want me to get mad at you.
There are times when you wont hung up first. At times that when you would, you will call me back.
One time you told me you want to feel and experience care from me.
You told me to stop smoking. You told me to take care of myself for you.
Those and a lot more made me assume things.
I assumed there is something budding between us.
I assumed I would matter to you.
I assumed I am important to you.
But just this recently, you are not communicating anymore.
I want to believe there is still tomorrow for our connection. But up to this point, I am left to myself, hanging in mid-air with no clear stand, no clear hope.
I poured time over thoughts of you and on how to make things work but to no avail. Things may not be meant to be at all.
I would like to believe I exerted all efforts I could to stay connected with you. Maybe I am not exerting enough.
Then I recalled the message you sent last 17April.
“Bon, I dunnu king mu apply ni sa ato duha: There is nothing wrong in making mistakes. What’s wrong is letting it stay as a mistake without the effort of making it right.”
My mind reeled.
Considering that you are in a relationship, I thought I am a mistake.
We talked about me and we talked about you but there was never a time when we talked about “us.”
Maybe, you are considering me a mistake. A big mistake.
Maybe you are working to correct this mistake to make things right for you.
I would understand.
I may just be another set of ripples to your otherwise placid life.
I feel sorry for myself I never had enough strength to let go of you.
It hurts you are not communicating anymore.
It hurts I am not hearing your voice any longer.
It hurts I am missing you bad.
It hurts I may not be able to talk to you again.
It hurts this may be goodbye.
Before we totally lose the connection, allow me to say a few more things.
Thank you for the time that you shared no matter how short it was.
Thank you for being the someone I was able to share some things with.
Thank you for entrusting some information about you.
Much more, thank you for being you.
Again, this may be goodbye. But thank you. Thank you so much!

Posted by bondabe 01:18

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