From the Nucleus
24.04.2009
Nothing can be seen from the outside except for the light streaks marred by the seemingly unstoppable rain. I was staring at my reflection on the glass window pane.
Nothing much of a sight to be happy about – just the same disturbed and tired individual trying every shot at life.
Then I noticed he was standing behind me sporting a sad face, seemingly hiding something behind his muted mouth.
The sight of him got me both happy and worried. Happy because I finally saw him after what seemed like ages of waiting. Sad because it may not be real.
Staring at him from our reflection, I asked him if he was fine. No answer. Then he let out a stifled laughter. I frowned and asked him what’s the matter.
Then he paced back to the empty space of the room and mumbled something I cant decipher. I got rooted on the very spot I was standing before he appeared. I cant turn my head towards him for some reasons. I followed his motion reflected on the window pane.
He stopped at the wall behind and sighed. Staring at me from behind, he went with his litany of how stiff I am with him. He said I am sarcastic most of the times and he never felt like I am nice to him. He said he should be asking his girl to be sweet with him but for some reasons he wanted all those care and sweetness from me.
I was dumb-struck and didn’t know how to respond.
I bowed my head low reeling back in time and recalling the many conversations we had. Was I not caring and sweet at all? Was I not sensitive?
He continued on telling me he too is human and no matter how dumb he might be, how immature he might be, how stupid he might be, he still got feelings and can feel hurt too.
I remained on my confused state and never knew how to respond. I was still rooted and can’t say even a word.
The last word he said was “Take care of yourself for me.” Then he fell silent.
Still rooted on the spot, I turned my head towards where he was standing a couple of moments ago. But he was gone.
Was I dreaming? I didn’t hear the door close. I didn’t even hear it open earlier. Was he a ghost? Would i still be able to hear from him? Am I losing him forever?
I was darn confused and tears came rolling down my cheeks.
Maybe I was just thinking of him too much that he materialized but was gone as instantly as he appeared.
Maybe we are never meant to talk to him.
Maybe.